Day Nine
I has so many weird dreams last night I can’t even begin to explain them. I know one of them I was leading the WVASC chant at leadership camp like it was 2005. So funny how I don’t remember things then they appear in my dreams in weird mismatched memories. Our cats were being aggressively annoying this morning and then Cobes was up at 7:15ish.
It is raining so G didn’t work today which made my whole day so much better. When we met, I didn’t want to fall in love with him like this, and genuinely couldn’t stay away from him because of the way he regulates my nervous system. I just find him so calming, which is great since we spend a TON of time together.
Ana and her friend who stayed over had a low-key morning of pancakes and I made Cobie waffles from scratch so she could not eat them. I had a waffle, obviously. We played with CJ (this particular friend has little siblings too so they are pretty cute with C), went out to the garage and painted. Cobie painted this straight up by herself, I did not help her with anything! She grabbed the colors, told me the order to open them, wanted the canvas wet before we started.. etc. I am obsessed with this one, and might make prints.
Ana and her friend did an awesome splatter painting with glow paint on it for her blacklights, which I lovedddd. I started another cloud painting with a totally different color scheme than the previous ones.. kinda of loving it and wanting to get some different opacities in these colors… any who.. it felt very good to work on this one and actually kind of like it. Sometimes I don’t like anything I make for days… its like I am not really in control of what I paint or how it turns out. Somatic/Process art is weird like that. No expectations, no thinking, just doing.
I made homemade pizza dough so Cobie could not eat but 2 bites of hers.. but me and Ana ate our white pizza and it was BOMB. I earned some mom scout culinary badge today for the scratch cooking. Honestly, now I want to start an entire company that is like girl scouts but for moms and thats how we learn to be moms and it would also help those of us who didn’t have moms to guide us… but really the whole reason we do it is for the swag on our sashes and vests… and eventually we can pull a LuLaRoe and make it into some kind of MLM… ok ok.. i was spiraling but admit it, it’s a good idea … lol
I tried to do my yoga flow for the next class tonight and got 8 AMAZING minutes where my airpod were in my ears and both kids were in the same room and everyone was good and happy, before cobie sat on my mat, attacked me, then got 5 Critter books off the shelf and made me read every single one. HAHA. It was cute as heck but I would love to make that 8 minutes more like 45 minutes a day… then maybe I’d have a more daily yoga practice. It could help a lot with the burnout and overwhelm.
Ana tried the steam tent tonight and loved it! That made me happy. It feels hard to win with teens (well, with kids in general) so when I get a compliment from her I feel like I won finally. I got in too and it def makes my body feel good after. She just came down and was being so funny, spouting off some quote about the game they are playing and jumping around with Gracie. I LOVE her. Shes growing up too fast. HIGH SCHOOL in the FALL!?!? I swear I am 23, how is this possible.
I have decided to start building my blog to include some photography, and to be open to shooting more regularly again.. which is a little exciting but a little nerve wracking since that means people might read my daily project and JUDGE ME. which bothers me SO much for some reason… (Ahem.. its RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dyphoria) So, if you think I am so cringe, don’t tell me. I need to not care what ya’ll think.. (but love you.. ok?)
alright, alright… to bed.
