F….ck
I have no clue how to deal with people and its exhausting.
I got to experience something new this past week.. (saying this way makes me feel like it was a needed life lesson that will be good for my refinement as an entrepreneur instead of just a really effed up thing that happened and shouldn’t have.) ;)
I knew the probability that I would have to fire someone was high but in hopes I was wrong, I have stayed optimistic, hired very (VERY) cautiously and kept my hands on every aspect of my business (because this is totally feasible and will keep me from anything bad happening……. not.)
This was a different sort of situation because I had been afforded a few months to get to know this person before she began with clients. We felt good about what we were going to be offering to the community & were beginning to day dream with this person about BIG NEW THINGS to help the community we serve. This is the shit that got me and my partner excited.
To say I got STRAIGHT UP BLINDSIDED when she flipped out on our HR manager and tried to called my character into question is an understatement. Now that I have (after 5 days of threatening, berating, wild and crazy text messages) blocked her number and removed her from the rest of my life, the whiplash is subsiding and I see the red flags were there all along. Life goal : actually pay attention to the red flags and act accordingly.. JUST ONCE.
I am proud of myself though, I did not react defensively. This specific issue was accusing me of withholding pay for sport - which was just blatantly untrue and NOT ME at all - and the way it was served with a threat of slander… I could have really sunk to her level on this one. But, I know who I am when it comes to my business and my employees. Ask any of them - they are the best paid in the business and that is a guarantee. I want to see people win, I will not step on others to get to the top and I did not take a steady paycheck from my business for an entire year - reinvested every cent. This is entreprenership. I was trying to do everything right, and it was hurting me financially… so to have someone then call my ethics into question… WHEW.
I have said for years that the only way to maintain relationships is to KNOW someones HEART. It is inevitable that we are going to mess up, say something someone finds offensive, be taken the wrong way, hurt someones feelings, etc… but when you live authentically - noone can attack your character and it affect you anymore.
I have been to hell and back and lived through the unimaginable, so I take my impact on others very seriously. I have radical acceptance in place when I screw up, and I try to OWN my mistakes. I have never intended to hurt someone else, to slight anyone or to lead them anywhere they didn’t want to go. I help, I care, I try and I only ask for kindness in return.
Now that this incident is behind me, it taught me a lot.. like I do not want employees after all. So, call it what you want to.. I call it messy growth. Failing upwards. Figuring it out scared… On to the next..
